Over on her blog, Michelle Hauck is hosting a first page critique where writers create a link to a blog post with the first 250 words of their novel, and then offer feedback to other writers. Sounds like fun :), so here’s mine. Even if you’re not participating in the critique, feel free to comment.
The Whispering Gate – MG Modern Fantasy
Chapter 1 – Lonely and Lost
Shorter and skinnier than most nine year olds, Kevin made an easy target for the tyrants of the schoolyard.
One afternoon, sick of the torments Nick heaped on him outside Jefferson Elementary’s main doors, Kevin snuck past a daydreaming hall monitor and out a side door. He made it across and halfway up the street before he spotted Nick sprinting after him. Kevin ran, but knew he’d never outrace the larger boy. The woods! He could lose Nick in the nearby forest, he thought. It was his only chance.
Kevin shot around trees, through brush, and over rocks faster than Nick, and opened up a lead. The fear of being caught and pummeled never left him, though. So, as his pursuer hurled threats and insults at his back, Kevin fled deeper and deeper into the darkening woods.
Desperate for a place to hide and catch his breath, Kevin dove into, and surprisingly through, a mess of tangled brush, and found himself in a hidden clearing. He rolled up onto one knee, stifled his panting as best he could, and listened.
Nothing. Not a single sound to indicate he was still being chased.
“Heh,” Kevin said, allowing himself a relieved laugh. He stopped laughing when he realized he was lost.
The large, round clearing was walled by various types of dense bushes and tall, thick trees, and ringed by hundreds of fragile ivory mushrooms. Above, the late autumn sky was an unhelpful blanket of dark blue nothing.
Thanks for reading.