Things That Don’t Have Words But Should Tuesday – 6/14/2016

Welcome to Things That Don’t Have Words But Should Tuesday – an ongoing series where I discuss things/feelings/occurrences for which there are no words, but there should be. At the end, I’ll propose a word (or two if I’m feeling creative). Feel free to comment on my suggestion or propose your own.

Yay inaugural post 😀

To kick off TTDHWBST – which, yes, looks like the abbreviation for something leaky to which you’d liberally apply a salve (eww) – let’s keep it light and yet familiar, and discuss:

That microwaved fish smell at work

You know the one I’m talking about. It’s that OHMYGAWDWHOTHEHELLWHATTHEF#CK smell that poisons an office’s air for no less than thirty minutes when some inconsiderate pescatarian decides heating-up their stank concoction is more important than being a decent coworker (or human being, really). Seriously, who doesn’t-know microwaved fish reeks? More importantly, who thinks eating microwaved fish is even a good idea? With few exceptions, fish should always be consumed freshly-prepared. If you disagree, that’s fine – it’s OK for you to be wrong, but you’re still a terrible person if you impose that NYC-dumpster-in-August smell on the people around you. And if you try to argue you do it to be healthy, I’ve got two words for you: f#cking salad. Have a salad, stinky.

Proposed word: Fishbomb

I chose fishbomb because that’s truly what I feel these people are doing. That eye-watering smell hits like a smart missile and spreads like napalm, killing all happiness in its path. What’s left is a contaminated landscape filled with broken dreams and the distant memory of better times. Shame on anyone who fishbombs their coworkers.

 

Thx for reading,

{RDj}

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